A Formula one Masterpiece

It was once said by a wise person *I can’t quite remember who* every story has the same plot, someone wants something, if it’s commercial fiction they get it if it’s Literary they don’t. But just imagination for a seconded that you combined the two, can’t be done you say Magpie has finally gone off her rocket. Au contrair mon ami, for you see just days ago I witnessed such a phenomena in a little film by the name of Rush. *It’s still out in the cinema so you’ll forgive me if there isn’t a link for it yet*

Set around the world of 1970′s formula one racing *which believe you me if you’ve been raised in the noughties really is a different world* the film tells the story of the legendary *well I say legendary but this is the first time I’ve herd of it* rivalry between James Hunt  and Niki Lauda.

Seeing as how the Grand Prix is at it’s very essence a race their can be only one winner. If the film had chosen  to just follow one of them, IE giving only one point of view and one story line to be invested in, it wouldn’t have been an  awful film by any means. Mainly because the writing was fantastic and Chris Hemsworth and Daniel Bruhl *I know that’s spelled wrong but I’m not sure how to put dots over the u so this will have to suffice at least for now.* were sensational as Hunt and Lauda respectively.

However upon saying that nor would it have been one of the best films I’ve ever seen. * and yes I will go to my grave saying that* Alone they are good stories but twisted together in a hot mess of anger and sweat *and yes I know what that sounds like I can assure you it was quite deliberate* they transcendent into a true greatness upheld by very few…God I’m so good sometimes I scare myself!

I’d tell you a blow by blow account on what happened in this masterpiece of a film, but I believe even my unbelievably awesome prose *does that sound too self satisfied?…Ah, who cares it’s completely true* would be unable to truly capture the true magistracy of this wondrous piece of cinema. * Am I being a tad over dramatic? Well kind of but my point still stands*


The Last Air Sucker

Yesterday we watched The Last Airbender and I got to say I feel kind of dirty. I mean if you put aside the fact that the original cartoon Avatar: The Last Airbender was a masterpiece of Storytelling, animation and acting this an awful film.

I’d say there was too much expatiation and not enough of well any other kind of storytelling but that would be a bit of an understatement. Not only does this thing *for a quake at the thought of calling it an actual film* commit the deadly sin of showing rather then telling to what some people might call an excess, but it repeats things it’s already told you.

Yes I already know that Aang ran away when he found out he was the avatar, I don’t need you to tell fifty different times. The Real Avatar was able to show it much better with one simple exchange.

Katara: Why didn’t you tell us you were the Avatar

Anng: Because I didn’t want to be

In that one line you get more understanding and more emotional depth then in the entire of the film

Look I realize that making a film is a completely different thing to making an animated TV show and with the limited running time they would have to squeeze a lot in… There was some kind of other point I was trying to make but I think I just hit the nail on the head. It would be impossible for anyone to fit a world as complex and as big as Avatar’s into a at most two hour film. Could it have been done any better? Yes, but if you really want to experience the true world in all it’s glory stop pointlessly whining and watch the original.

Somewhere that’s green

Oh my god… *pain filled gasp*… why didn’t any one tell me! If I’d known I might not have watched it! I might have, I might have been spared the unrivalled tearjerker that is Little Shop Of Horrors

Oh dear lord, you think, Magpie’s gone completely insane, there’s nothing to cry over in Little Shop of Horrors. Sure Suddenly Seymour was nice but it’s hardly unrivalled…And I’d completely agree with you about the finished film.

Like most movies before it’s official release LSoH *which is what I’ll be calling it from now, ’cause writing the whole name out every time is pointlessly time consuming.* was shown to a test audience and well fice to say they didn’t like the end. So being the good little filmmakers they were they cut out all the unliked bits, stiched it up and slapped on a happy ending.

*sigh*Look I’m not trying to diss on LSoH, it is a very good film even without the orginal ending and the theatrical release ending wasn’t aweful. It was fulfilling and had a nice little wink at the audience, that it might not be all over yet. But after seeing what could have been, god it’s just doesn’t measure up.

Well, you ask, what happens in the original that’s so great and heart wrenching? Seymour and Audrey both die and the plant takes over the world. Sounds a bit too depressing doesn’t it but think about it for a second really it’s the only logical outcome. There just wasn’t ever going to be a happy ending, the plant was simply too strong.

By depriving both charcters of their untimely deaths you rob the story of any real consequences. Which the characters and ultimately the film suffers for.

For instant take the song Somewhere that’s green, a nice enough tune with a good underlying message about Manifestation. But just think for a minute how much more potent the song would be if Audrey died and was eaten by the plant in the end.

Oh yeah that happens, when she’s close to death she begs Seymour to give her to the plant so they can live and give him all the wonderful things he deserves. And if she’s in the plant, she’s part of the plant so in away they’ll *her+Seymour* always be together.

And if that admittedly flawed in logic self sacrifice wasn’t enough to start waterfalls out of your eyes she then launches into the saddest rendition of Somewhere that’s green I’ve ever heard. Take a look at these lyrics see if you’re still dry eyed by the end.

You’ll wash my tender leaves
You’ll smell my sweet perfume
You’ll water me and care for me
You’ll see me burn and bloom
I’m feeling strangely happy
Contented and Serene
Don’t you see
Finally I’ll be
Somewhere that’s green

Oh god…it’s starting again! I’m not sure what I’m more upset about Audrey and Seymour’s deaths or the fact that the Director’s Cut is only on Blue Ray!

Charlie Sheen can Act!!… Sort of.

I’m not been pesiesus or sarcastist when I say… Oh my god this is the greatest movie I’ve ever seen in my life!!!!!!!!! Yes I’ve taking a break from speaking about things I absalutlley despise to talk about something I absalutley love, and that something is? Why, the Charlie Sheen film Platoon of course.

It’s hard to imagine Charlie Sheen doing anything with well with any real depth in it, but if it had to be only one then I’m glad it’s this one.

I don’t think I really have to explain the premise of the film in this day and age, but just in case there’s still someone out there who hasn’t herd of this spectacular film here it is.

The young army volenter Charlie Sheen *his charcter has another name but let’s just face it you’re gonna call him Charlie Sheen* arrives off the plane ready to do his duty for his country, just like his father in WWII and his Grandfather in WWI. However our future Two and a Half Men star is in for a sharp slap in the face when he’d thrown into the thick of the Vietnam War.

That’s a very basic run down of the beginning of the film, I’d give you a more detailed one about the rest of the film, but one I’m gonna be talking about it anyway so what’s the point and two summaries really aren’t my strong point. If you want to learn the whole plot from start to finish then watch the bloody movie. That’s not a suggestion that’s an order soldier!

Not only is it beautifully shot and the score sensational but the film gives a good picture on just how stupid the untied states Army is! I mean the stupid Lieutenant they put in charge only got there because he had a degree! I’m not sure even what kind of degree, but I can garente one that would be useless in this situation.

Barnes played by Tom Berenger *who after watching this film you will see as the ultimate evil* and Elias played by Willem Dafoe *who is now your god* are the sergeants and you know what they should have been the ones in charge! Even though one of them was Satan in a human form they at least had the fucking experience not to lead a platoon of men into a bloody trap!!!

*pant pant pant* Sorry I can get a little emotional about this film but who could blame me it is an incredible film! The actor who plays Dr. Cox on Scrubs is in it and even though he can’t generally act, seeing how he plays the same person every time it worked. In this setting it really worked.

Speaking of working Charlie Sheen was unbelievable, if I’d never seen this movie I’d have never thought him capable of it, even though his role was simplistic he just had to look sad a lot, it was still incredible. The first and only series roll of seen him in, maybe he’s done others I’ll be honest I’m not an expert but this is the only thing I’ve seen him in that wasn’t a comedy and or he wasn’t a sleaze.

I think before I close this post I should warn you something about this film, anyone can die, anywhere at anytime…often in horrible and gruesome ways. But then it’s a war what do you expect. So with that Magpie is sighing out with the message watch this film, buy it on Amazon and make me money.


Feminism in Westoros

Oh my god, oh my god, OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!! Last night’s Game of Thrones was unbelievably AWESOME!!

Danerys buys a fucking slave army with her dragon, then orders it to burn the head slaver alive and then orders the slave army of unsullied to kill the rest of the slavers! And then she frees the slave army and they decide to fight for her nether less. She’s just that awesome!!! *collapses in exustian*

So after we watched Danyers’ show of raw feminie power this started me thinkingof another woman in a westors with a similer-ish story…Cersai Lanister. Sir don’t you think that musket pointed at my head is a bit overkill, a hand gun would kill me just as easy.

Okay before the shooting begins just let me explain myself, I don’t in anyway think that Danyerys and Cercaei are the same or even similer in charcter. But you have to admit that there are a few simelties in their storys. Both women were basicly sold to a man for the betterment of one or more of their male relitives. Cersei to Robert Baratheon and Danyerys to Kal Drogo.

Both husbands died in the first season and both women gained a degree of power at the end of the first season. However as i said before they are completly diffrente charcters, Danyerys is a strong woman who is only made stronger by the hardships she’s put through while Cercei is…a bit of a whinner.

Sure she got power in the seconed season but that’s only throgh her son and even then she starts to loose it when he starts ignoring her. In fact there’s actully a whole seane entirley devoted to Cercaie bitching.

But you know what I could cope with that, if she backed it up with…anything!

absolutely nothing! Well maybe that’s a bit unfair she does…erm…mocks people, taunts them and psychology tortures young girls…yeah not…not good. Kind of pales in comparison doesn’t it?

Oh can you hear the audience cry?

A cinematic version of the musical Les mis, never been done before. Adaptions of the book have but never the musical.

I’m just gonna assume out of hand that you already know the story, and if you don’t, well then I’ll spoil the surprise and tell you, you will cry. Not just cry , you will sob intill your eyes are dried out husks . And you won’t stop until days after . But then what did you expect when you go to see something called Les Miserables

The cast was amazing! Playing Val Jean we had Hugh Jackman (X-Men Quadrilogy ) Russell Crow (Gladiator ) as Javert, Anne Hathaway (The Devil Wears Prada ) as Fantine, and as the Thenadies we had Helena Bonham Carter (Harry Potter ) and Sacha Baron Cohen (Bruno )

The singing, oh my god the singing was incredible! Mum didn’t think Hugh Jackman could sing at the start *insane giggle* it’s just lucky I was left in such a forgiving mood.

I can understanding maybe even forgive in the far off future, why they cut out one of the best songs. I mean with Baron Cohen’s quite frankly limited acting skills I can see how it would be rather awkward to do a song like Dog eats Dog. So yeah I got that, annoying as it was, I got it.

What I’m having trouble with is the song Suddenly. Now I’ve grown up with the soundtrack to Les mis blaring through every nook and cranny in the house, but I’ve never herd that song before in my life!

Has it been left off every soundtrack of the musical? And if so why? It’s not a bad song, it’s quite sweet really, I’m just mystafied as to how I haven’t herd it before.

Or maybe it was written just for the film, if so then again we have to ask why? Did they feel something was mission, did they feel that Val Jean’s feelings weren’t properly explained in the original?

A conundrum if ever there was one, I must find the answer though. I will find it, even if I have to start Stalkibg Cameron Mackintosh.